Austin City Limits

By Larry Teren

I’m no Charles Dickens, but I, too, have a Tale of Two Cities. My cities also have experienced the best of times as well as the worst of times. Now, if I can only get my stories serialized in a magazine like good old Charlie boy. Continue reading “Austin City Limits”

A House Divided

A House Divided

By Larry Teren

I generally try to avoid any discussion of politics in this blog site. There are two things, however, that I noticed in the last couple of days that I cannot leave alone. One is a news analyst on election night using the expression “a house divided” and the other is an idiotic article written by a smug generation x-er on a left coast print media website. Continue reading “A House Divided”

Rat Fink

Rat Fink

By Larry Teren

alansherman
If you are baby boomer, certain words and expressions conjure up an immediate association that those of other age groups cannot relate. Take for example, a very once-popular, one-word adjective that for a short time in the early 1960’s conveyed a feeling of disgust, one person to another. And that word is – rat fink!! And, of course, for any of us hatched in the 1950’s and shaped in the 1960’s, the word is associated with a famous parody song by the master of all masters- Allan Sherman. Anyone interested in hearing this melodious ingenious musical piece can click here. For the sake of accuracy, it should be noted that although it is spelled as two distinct words, it is pronounced rushed together in order to stress the significance of its usage, such as you ratfink bastard, you.      Continue reading “Rat Fink”

I Got (Loga)Rithm

By Larry Teren

Recently a Facebook friend posted that his father had celebrated his 75th birthday and wanted to give others who know him a chance to send greetings. You know that old expression, “a friend of a friend is my friend”. I guess through magic, Facebook is able to let the father see whatever greetings the son swaps with his friends.

What made this birthday announcement more than ordinary is that my friend’s father is my high school chemistry teacher from 40 or so years ago (yeah, do the math). Being forced to think back so long ago causes me to remember only a handful of incidents. (Doing the same math, I did not realize that the teacher was so young at that time because he had prematurely gray hair and acted, well- so mature.)

I do recall that Chemistry was one of the classes in which I got a better grade than others I was forced to take against my will. Those included English, Trigonometry and Home Room. I was better at Chemistry for two reasons: 1) our teacher was hip and fun to hang around. 2) my classmates were not better at understanding it than I was so the grading curve was a little lower. Take that Arthur Lafler. (If you have to ask who he is, I quit.)

There are three memories that I associate with our beloved Chemistry teacher. Continue reading “I Got (Loga)Rithm”

Don’t Talk To Me That Way, Girl

By Larry Teren

“You don’t know what you are talking about.” Hey, I always know what I’m talking about but since this was a friend and I was in their house I was obligated to accept a dressing down.        Continue reading “Don’t Talk To Me That Way, Girl”

Being Smart Means Nothing Anymore

By Larry Teren

Danny called the other day after he saw my name on his cellphone’s missed calls list.

Danny: “So, you need a painter?”

Me: “Ha, ha. What else you doing?”

I had tried calling him a few days earlier to see what was shaking. Like everyone else nowadays I felt there was no need to leave a voice mail as he’d eventually notice the missed call. Anyway, I also knew Danny had nothing good to say which is why he waited a few days to return the call.

Danny: “Not much. Finished painting the house myself. Getting it ready for sale this summer. Now that the kids are out , we don’t need so much space and gotta get out of here and into a smaller one in a suburb that has lower property taxes.”

Me: “Yeah, good luck.”                          Continue reading “Being Smart Means Nothing Anymore”

The House Around The Corner From Serenity

By Larry Teren

In late August 1968, our family finally got out of the far west side of Chicago and moved to the far north side. Rather, we were pushed out of the west side- but that’s another story. Now we were in a location that was as if living in the suburbs. There were half built roads and plenty of empty lots along with the serenity that comes with living in an isolated area.     Continue reading “The House Around The Corner From Serenity”

Sunday Night Fever

By Larry Teren

Sunday evenings in the late 1970s and early 1980s were often spent at these so-called well-chaperoned singles events that were at drinking establishments. Sundays were usually slow nights for bars so they willingly rented out their facilities to groups hoping to get the attendees to buy some liquor. Back then driving under the influence was not so vigorously monitored. I didn’t drink but plenty of others who attended these affairs did enjoy to wet their whistle.        Continue reading “Sunday Night Fever”

Do I look Like I Speak Spanish?

By Larry Teren

What a great country! Well, maybe. No seriously. Okay, maybe it is when we are all on the same page speaking the same language. But you will say that this country is known for being a melting pot. The Statue of Liberty proclaims, “bring us your tired, your poor….” Yeah, but the idea is that the terrestrial aliens are supposed to be kind of like trying to learn to speak English so they can melt in quicker, no?       Continue reading “Do I look Like I Speak Spanish?”

A Bad News Week for Newsweek?

By Larry Teren

The Publishers of Newsweek Magazine announced that they are ceasing to issue a printed edition after December 31, 2012.   Instead, they will shift to just their website as well as subscription for download to mobile devices. They said that the cost of printing and distribution was no longer justifiable in proportion to the revenues.                       Continue reading “A Bad News Week for Newsweek?”