Small Potatoes
By Larry Teren
Saturday night is a good night for a party when it’s January, there is snow on the ground (but not too much) and it’s too cold to go strolling outside. Besides, it’s no longer safe to just stroll around unless you know where you are heading and can spot the potential for evil to lurk.
It’s even better when the party is a big bash at a fancy hall with lots of food and family oriented entertainment. Top it off with the fact a well-heeled friend is footing the bill and someone else is driving you there and back. Don’t think that I’m happy not to be taking my car back and forth in order to save on gas or to be able to toss some liquor down my throat. I don’t drink and my car would never make the trip. In fact, the next morning- Sunday- as I go to pick up Ma to give her a chance to do a little shopping, my beater goes over a bump and off goes the pipe that on one end is connected to the muffler and the other end to a thingamajig. I drive the car 20 miles an hour with the emergency flashers on for a little over a mile with the pipe clinking against the road. Too many intelligent onlookers stare at me wanting to tell me that the pipe is scraping against the ground, as if I don’t know. 
Luckily, I make it to the car repair joint I usually visit, you know- the one whose owner lives in my condo building. Being the nice guy he is, he clears his agenda and replaces the pipe. When his henchman brings me the bill, he says, “you’re lucky. It’s small potatoes.” I look at the invoice and see that in his dictionary as well as at the produce store he shops, small potatoes cost over $250.00. Continue reading “Small Potatoes”
