Small Potatoes

Small Potatoes

By Larry Teren

Saturday night is a good night for a party when it’s January, there is snow on the ground (but not too much) and it’s too cold to go strolling outside. Besides, it’s no longer safe to just stroll around unless you know where you are heading and can spot the potential for evil to lurk.

It’s even better when the party is a big bash at a fancy hall with lots of food and family oriented entertainment. Top it off with the fact a well-heeled friend is footing the bill and someone else is driving you there and back. Don’t think that I’m happy not to be taking my car back and forth in order to save on gas or to be able to toss some liquor down my throat. I don’t drink and my car would never make the trip. In fact, the next morning- Sunday- as I go to pick up Ma to give her a chance to do a little shopping, my beater goes over a bump and off goes the pipe that on one end is connected to the muffler and the other end to a thingamajig. I drive the car 20 miles an hour with the emergency flashers on for a little over a mile with the pipe clinking against the road. Too many intelligent onlookers stare at me wanting to tell me that the pipe is scraping against the ground, as if I don’t know. muffler Luckily, I make it to the car repair joint I usually visit, you know- the one whose owner lives in my condo building. Being the nice guy he is, he clears his agenda and replaces the pipe. When his henchman brings me the bill, he says, “you’re lucky. It’s small potatoes.” I look at the invoice and see that in his dictionary as well as at the produce store he shops, small potatoes cost over $250.00. Continue reading “Small Potatoes”

Mr. Freeze in a Pinch

Mr. Freeze in a Pinch

By Larry Teren

Mention Mr. Freeze to a baby boomer and he or she most likely would conjure up the memory of a Batman classic television episode from the mid 1960’s. This arch nemesis of Batman was originally played by the sardonic George Sanders. When George inconveniently committed suicide, he was replaced in a follow-up episode that showcased the popular character by Otto Preminger. mr. freezeUnfortunately, Otto had a habit of playing all his performances, regardless of the character, as if he was still the prisoner of war camp Commandant in the movie Stalag 17. In fact, Adam West in his autobiography mentions that Otto was not very much appreciated on the set. The tv show producer elected to go with Eli Wallach the third time around. The fourth time around never happened as Batman only aired new episodes for three seasons.

Mr. Freeze was aptly named so because he was forced to live his life of crime constantly cocooned in a frozen tundra due to the results of an accident. He was trying to cryogenically preserve his late wife for a rendezvous many years into the future when the process backfired. The moment Mr. Freeze stepped out of the bitter cold, he would do his own imitation of the wicked witch melting in the climactic scene of the Wizard of Oz movie.
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The Television Generation Gap

By Larry Teren

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Generation gap is an expression hardly heard anymore. It was the be-all, end-all excuse for why your parents didn’t understand you. How many times did you think to yourself, “man, they don’t know what it’s like being a kid or a teenager.” As if your parents were born in their twenties, huh?
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