Out of the Cradle Endlessly Rocking

By Larry Teren

Summer of 1957, I am four years old, my sister has just turned six. We are outside playing with other kids. (Yeah, back then you can play outside away from in front of the house without supervision) For whatever reason, sis says to me, “you’re stupid.” Taking it in, digesting it in my young mind, I quickly determine that it is not a compliment. I reply back to her, “no I’m not.”
She immediately comes back with, “yes you are.” In one of my earliest attempts at using the ‘best defense is an offense’ strategy, I turn the tables and start saying, “shut up, shut up, shut up.” Using the classic Jackson Boulevard greeting, she finally says, “go away, crybaby.”
Continue reading “Out of the Cradle Endlessly Rocking”

Handle With Car(e)

By Larry Teren

Most baby boomers, I would think, remember that during the 1950’s and 60’s cars had noticeable changes in body design from year to year. Americans took great pride in being able to tell the model number and year of an automobile just by looking at it.

I recall the time I ran home from school when I was eight years old and proudly told Ma that I saw a 1964 car. She said that I couldn’t have because it was only the fall of 1959. I tried to argue that my friend said it was a 1964 car. She said that he probably said it was a 1960 Ford car. (Alright, you had to be there.) Continue reading “Handle With Car(e)”

A Healthy Day Ends at 1:00am

By Larry Teren

They say that the early bird gets the worm. Well, I don’t like worms. I’m not saying that all the rest of you eager beavers who get up early, exercise, have a hearty breakfast, read the newspaper, etc., like to eat worms. I’m just beating around the bush to say I don’t get up early. No, sir, Uh-uh. Eight o’clock or later is fine by me. After all, what’s the rush? You in a hurry to go somewhere? Did you take a look outside and see all that traffic? Have you been on the expressway before 9:00am? You get up early- it’s only going to make you ready to retire by 10:00pm. That means going to sleep at such an early hour when there is so much more to experience.
Continue reading “A Healthy Day Ends at 1:00am”

The Big Bang Theory

By Larry Teren

A literary and social critic not long ago wrote about Americans that we would rather read a book on how to write a book than try to write one. In other words, we tend to be more talk and less action. I have to admit that recently I took a handful of home study step-by-step courses on various programming languages. The learning curve was not that much because I was already very familiar with all the techniques being taught. It was just a matter of learning the specific syntax that those languages used to accomplish similar goals. But I was not doing much to make an effort to figure out how to profit by this extra knowledge.

Talk, no action is the mantra. We talk about losing weight but few of us actually do it. We get tired of the effort once we see that it requires commitment.

And how about that old Mark Twain (I think) observation that everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about. I keep the windows closed shut and adjust the thermostat control for either heat or cool depending on the season. But, I’m no climatologist.

Which brings up the point about the Big Bang Theory. bigbangtheoryNo, this is not about that popular television sitcom show. Instead, lets talk real science here. The short explanation is that some people- I haven’t taken a poll so I don’t know the percentages- believe that the world was accidentally created millions, if not billions, of years ago by some rocks, meteors and what-have-you colliding in space. The collision created the planet earth. Over time it evolved in its current form of animal, mineral and vegetable.

People- it’s called a theory. The last time I checked the dictionary, a theory usually means that a postulated idea is not written in stone or meteor. It is a possibility and someone has to prove it. Someone actually has to do something to show that what they want the rest of us to believe actually is true. Sir Issac Newton came up with three- count ’em, three- laws of motion. These are not theories but laws. We no longer say the theory of gravity, but the law of gravity.

alberteinsteinmarilynmonroeAlbert Einstein was a nice guy and possibly did meet Marilyn Monroe late in life but we still call it the Theory of Relativity and not the Law of Relativity. If you cannot prove it, it doesn’t count. If you can’t do it, then maybe you are better off reading about it and pretending that you are just as smart as the guy who can.

And if you cannot defend the brilliant thoughts that race through your mind, don’t go banging your head or whatever else against the wall. You’ll end up with some physical and mental damage. At least, that’s my theory.