Monopoly’s Permanent Press Solution

By Larry Teren

Hasbro Gaming Company recently decided to replace the least popular token in their Monopoly board game,monopolyprobably to jump start new interest in the game. (Similar to when M&M’s made a big deal about adding a new color to the candy mix.) They conducted a contest to replace the least favorite game piece or token with a new creation. Results: the iron was voted off the island and replaced by a cat.m&m
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Out of the Cradle Endlessly Rocking

By Larry Teren

Summer of 1957, I am four years old, my sister has just turned six. We are outside playing with other kids. (Yeah, back then you can play outside away from in front of the house without supervision) For whatever reason, sis says to me, “you’re stupid.” Taking it in, digesting it in my young mind, I quickly determine that it is not a compliment. I reply back to her, “no I’m not.”
She immediately comes back with, “yes you are.” In one of my earliest attempts at using the ‘best defense is an offense’ strategy, I turn the tables and start saying, “shut up, shut up, shut up.” Using the classic Jackson Boulevard greeting, she finally says, “go away, crybaby.”
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Handle With Car(e)

By Larry Teren

Most baby boomers, I would think, remember that during the 1950’s and 60’s cars had noticeable changes in body design from year to year. Americans took great pride in being able to tell the model number and year of an automobile just by looking at it.

I recall the time I ran home from school when I was eight years old and proudly told Ma that I saw a 1964 car. She said that I couldn’t have because it was only the fall of 1959. I tried to argue that my friend said it was a 1964 car. She said that he probably said it was a 1960 Ford car. (Alright, you had to be there.) Continue reading “Handle With Car(e)”

A Healthy Day Ends at 1:00am

By Larry Teren

They say that the early bird gets the worm. Well, I don’t like worms. I’m not saying that all the rest of you eager beavers who get up early, exercise, have a hearty breakfast, read the newspaper, etc., like to eat worms. I’m just beating around the bush to say I don’t get up early. No, sir, Uh-uh. Eight o’clock or later is fine by me. After all, what’s the rush? You in a hurry to go somewhere? Did you take a look outside and see all that traffic? Have you been on the expressway before 9:00am? You get up early- it’s only going to make you ready to retire by 10:00pm. That means going to sleep at such an early hour when there is so much more to experience.
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Austin City Limits

By Larry Teren

I’m no Charles Dickens, but I, too, have a Tale of Two Cities. My cities also have experienced the best of times as well as the worst of times. Now, if I can only get my stories serialized in a magazine like good old Charlie boy. Continue reading “Austin City Limits”

Rat Fink

Rat Fink

By Larry Teren

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If you are baby boomer, certain words and expressions conjure up an immediate association that those of other age groups cannot relate. Take for example, a very once-popular, one-word adjective that for a short time in the early 1960’s conveyed a feeling of disgust, one person to another. And that word is – rat fink!! And, of course, for any of us hatched in the 1950’s and shaped in the 1960’s, the word is associated with a famous parody song by the master of all masters- Allan Sherman. Anyone interested in hearing this melodious ingenious musical piece can click here. For the sake of accuracy, it should be noted that although it is spelled as two distinct words, it is pronounced rushed together in order to stress the significance of its usage, such as you ratfink bastard, you.      Continue reading “Rat Fink”

Baby Boomer Television Memories without a VCR

By Larry Teren

Recently a college age friend told me about a school project he was required to do and asked me to participate. Specifically, he wanted to interview me about what it was for a baby boomer to grow up on television while the medium itself was being created. I told him that television as we know it started in 1947 and that I was not old enough to appreciate being entertained by it until the late 1950’s, several years past the birth pangs. Nevertheless, I was willing to cooperate and be interviewed.               Continue reading “Baby Boomer Television Memories without a VCR”

Whatever Happened to Greasers?

By Larry Teren

All baby boomers remember that when a stranger didn’t like how we were behaving, he or she would call us a “juvenile delinquent”. It also didn’t help a boy to dress in a weird way or to comb the hair back in a duck-tail. That was the ‘hoodie’ look of the 1950s and early 60s. Normal boys had crew cut hair styles. But, if you looked like a punk, you were a juvenile delinquent or greaser. Clothes make the man. Appearances count. Yada, yada, yada. greaser Continue reading “Whatever Happened to Greasers?”

Going Postal

Here we go again. The U.S. Postal Service is threatening dire actions unless the U.S. taxpayer bails them out for the umpteenth time. This time they say they will close many processing centers around the country. This will result in no longer promising to deliver the mail the next day in the same postal zone after it is put in a mailbox but adding a day or two to the length of time. Like that has been a lock for the past several years until now, right?

The Post Office complains that businesses have cut down on the amount of junk mail they send out. Yah, sure. They also say that our use of email has killed their business model. Well, whoopee do!
That’s life. Do you think that the president of the buggy whip association back in 1905 went to Congress and demanded that we all continue to buy accessories for no-longer-existent horses in the backyard barn?

As a society, we are paying our bills more than ever online. Let’s face it. It is faster and a better chance of getting delivered than by the Post Office. And you can tell the bank when to remit the payment rather than releasing the funds immediately.

Those of us who are baby boomers in our 50’s (ahem) can faintly remember that yet in the late 1950’s the Post Office delivered the mail to businesses in Chicago’s downtown area as well as other key locations twice a day . Postage stamps back then cost a mere 3 cents. A new car about $2000, a newspaper 7 cents for a weekday edition, a new house about $20,000, and a movie ticket about 75 cents for an adult.

Today, everything listed about is most likely more than ten times that amount but with all except mail delivery you get the same product or even more for the higher price than back then. Today, a single postage stamp of first class delivery is 44 cents. But, delivery has become less often and shakier. And heaven help you when your mailman (well, at least mine is a guy) goes on vacation and they send out a substitute. Email and electronic transfer of financial data is a good thing. Hey, it’s called progress.

When we first moved into our current office building after the turn of the century (this one- hey, watch it!), we immediately recognized that it had a very important amenity- a mail box pickup location inside.
A sticker posted on the lid you open to drop in the mail listed two pickup times. One around 10am and the other 4:45pm. This made sense as it gave us a chance to compose important business communications, run it through the postage meter and as we went home and dropped it in the mail chute, we knew that by the next morning it would already be on its way to getting processed.

This is no longer the fact. Last year- in a cost-cutting action, the post office decided to reduce pickup to once a day. Fine. No problem. Doable. However, the geniuses decided to make the pickup at 10am and dropped the more beneficial 4:45pm. Presumably because it was beneficial for the paying customer but not their pampered employees who loathed making a pickup late in the day when they preferred to be heading home. What this means is that if I get to the office after the 10am pickup, I have to advance the date in the postage meter before I slide an envelope through. Why? I am a firm believer that the next morning when the mail is brought to the processing plant that a postal employee will see the previous day’s date on the metered envelope and put it on the side to teach me a lesson in ruining that person’s karma.

The U.S. Postal Service has not raised stamp fees from 3 to 44 cents and dropped delivery from twice a day to barely once only because the cost of living that has skyrocketed in 50 years.. It is out-of-control pension plans, vacation and personal leave benefits that our “all types of weather” letter carriers get. But, hey- that’s progress. I tell you what- I quit when my computer starts asking me for the same considerations.