By Larry Teren
They say that the early bird gets the worm. Well, I don’t like worms. I’m not saying that all the rest of you eager beavers who get up early, exercise, have a hearty breakfast, read the newspaper, etc., like to eat worms. I’m just beating around the bush to say I don’t get up early. No, sir, Uh-uh. Eight o’clock or later is fine by me. After all, what’s the rush? You in a hurry to go somewhere? Did you take a look outside and see all that traffic? Have you been on the expressway before 9:00am? You get up early- it’s only going to make you ready to retire by 10:00pm. That means going to sleep at such an early hour when there is so much more to experience.
Last time I looked there are plenty of people who died young who would wake up early and do the right things. And there are plenty of senior citizens in nursing homes who spent a lifetime getting up late while going to bed after midnight and they’re still kicking around even if it is restless leg syndrome.
You don’t get an automatic ‘get out of jail free’ card for getting up in the wee hours of the morning nor do you get 20 cents off at the gas pump. I bet if they took a survey of lottery winners there would be no clear cut pattern as to whether early risers win more often than lazy bums.
Yes, sir- I am a late riser and revel in it. I also go to bed during spooky time. I’m all tense during the day fighting with other people to get waited on first or win the local Daytona 500 arterial street races.
I hate the phone ringing even when it is not someone who patently ignores that I am on the national ‘do not call’ list.
I love the serenity of late night. The darkness in the air- outside, mind you. Cars trolling down the street every 20 seconds (I time them) instead of the typical tailgating witnessed from my balcony. After 10:30pm is my time- a feeling that I own it and can do as I please. Once 11:30pm approaches I realize that it is time to start packing it in- slowing down on the banging of the keyboard and the scrolling of Facebook and LinkedIn websites. By midnight, I am finally in bed but with the light. Time now to check to hear if the old time radio program has something worth listening to or maybe do a challenge out of the crossword puzzle magazine or otherwise read a book. It doesn’t matter what my mind wants to do, sleep will not overtake me before 1:00am.
You can blame Ma for making me allergic to an early morning rise. She gave birth to yours truly around 6:00am. Now, for some people, that kind of sets the tone for them to get used to rising and shining as the sun does. Not for me. Apparently, I must have been a smart baby and recognized immediately that too early is not a good thing. I guess I’m glad I wasn’t born at midnight or I shudder to think my life would be all about making sure I get out of bed while the sun is still in the northeast (at least where I live) and to start thinking of hitting the sack as the street lamps come on in the evening.
Well, it’s almost midnight . Tonight I think I’ll grab a can of Jolt Cola and see if there are any good infomercials on the television.