“Hello, My name is Vishnu- Do You Mind Taking a Survey?…….”

By Larry Teren


The phone rang and woke me out of a dream while taking an afternoon nap. (The nap, not the dream is one of the perks of working at home. In the interest of fair reporting, I split up the day so that a good portion of the work I do is in the evening hours when it is convenient to remote in to clients’ computers without interfering with their processing.)

I picked up the phone on the nightstand to the left of the bed and answered the call.

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hello, this is Vishnu. I am calling on behalf your health insurance company. They want to know if you are willing to take a three to four minute survey on the quality of the customer service they recently provided to you.”

Me: “Sure, if it is not going to take more than three or four minutes.” Like I was otherwise busy, huh?

Caller: “Yes, it will not take more than three of four minutes. Let us begin…” Continue reading ““Hello, My name is Vishnu- Do You Mind Taking a Survey?…….””


By Larry Teren

If you are not experiencing abdominal pain or worried about getting or having colon cancer, then I guess the following story will not induce a visit to the family doctor.

Usually when someone tosses out an expression such as “movie prep” my mind harks back to the days when I would frequent movie theaters. I’m sorry, I forget that now we call them cinemas, which rhymes with… but, that’s getting ahead of the story. Anyway, I always thought a cinema was the film itself- you know, like the Spanish word cine.

Anyway, until a month ago, as far as I was concerned a movie prep meant to bring enough extra money to buy a box of popcorn, a cup of pop (or do you say soda?), chocolate covered raisins (the ones that didn’t move on their own when you put them in your hand) or Ferraro candy coated almonds. Not any more. Not after these past couple of weeks. Now, “movie prep” immediately congers up a putrid tasting medicinal preparation in advance of a colonoscopy procedure. Continue reading “Semi-colonoscopy”