Recently, I sat in on a session where an expert gave out pointers on how to make a quick, but effective introduction of oneself at a business networking confab. She then asked for several volunteers to go up to the front and make a presentation and then be willing to accept criticism.
The ham that I am, I decided to try my act in front of an audience where no one knew me or my reputation for throw-away lines. As I stood up there, I focused on a few faces going back and forth as if I was speaking only to each one at that point in time. I lead with:
For close to twenty years, starting in April 1983, I subleased a small corner office in a CPA firm. Then, a little more than ten years ago, the firm moved to a new location which ended up being about the same mile and a half distance as before from my condo but heading west instead of north. One morning last week I went to the office to check the mail earlier than usual. But that’s basically all I do there now. I gave up the desk space when they made the move. Continue reading “The Life of Riley”
It used to be illegal to show real money on television. Maybe it still is and they just overlook it. The people in Washington were afraid that counterfeiters would freeze frame pictures of the money and somehow figure out how to duplicate it using a rudimentary form of digital reproduction. Game shows handed out fake currency to winners and then the lucky contestants picked up the real cash afterward while signing a Federal Tax form. Contestants were warned by the production assistants before the show to act natural and excited about holding fake twenty dollar bills in their hands while on camera or go home with booby prizes or even nothing.
I don’t know if I would have been a willing enough contestant to act ecstatic over play money. You see, just like in the movie from a few years ago, the expression â€œShow Me The Moneyâ€ has been my battle cry. It became ingrained after dealing early on in my self-employment career with stinkers who loved to kite checks. A few times I had to re-present a check to my bank in order to cash it while paying the NSF fee. Yeah, try to collect that back from the con artist, too. I’ve turned down projects where a prospect wanted me to do the work first and if they liked it, they would then pay me even more than I asked for. Yeah, sure. Continue reading “Show Me The Money”
It’s not easy to write about those awkward moments in life when you’ve been set up to be a sap and you know you had it coming. And it always seems to involve women. The earliest situation I recall was when I was in my very early teens and there was some type of game going on between the kids on both sides of the block. I happened to be outside and one frisky young lady was going around chasing me trying to kiss me. The thing was I happened to like her and wouldn’t have minded it but not in that situation. She and her friends were in on it and had a look in their eyes like they were going to have a big laugh about this after she had planted her pucker on my face. I did the noble thing and ran as quickly as I could into my house. Continue reading “Awkward Moments”