Awkward Moments

It’s not easy to write about those awkward moments in life when you’ve been set up to be a sap and you know you had it coming. And it always seems to involve women. The earliest situation I recall was when I was in my very early teens and there was some type of game going on between the kids on both sides of the block. I happened to be outside and one frisky young lady was going around chasing me trying to kiss me. The thing was I happened to like her and wouldn’t have minded it but not in that situation. She and her friends were in on it and had a look in their eyes like they were going to have a big laugh about this after she had planted her pucker on my face. I did the noble thing and ran as quickly as I could into my house.

What was doubly embarrassing was that I chatted regularly with her father, a pharmacist who was a pretty tall and lanky good-natured fellow. What if she blurted out later to him about how she had a good laugh at my expense that made me go head for the hills?

Years later, I was doing a computer consulting job for a guy who was a pure- well the word begins with an ‘a’ and ends with an ‘e’. Joe was the typical rich guy of the 1980’s and 90’s who had money come to him too easily. It gave him an inflated ego to the point where he was rotten to everyone else. Mind you, he paid well and on time but was very manipulative. In other words, he was my kind of guy.

At the time, Joe was married to a quite tall- about 5 foot, ten inches- blonde and strikingly beautiful- a combination of Grace Kelly and Eva Marie Saint. They had two young children and Joe seemed to be lovey-dovey with his wife when she visited their office.

Then one day he hired a very slim figured blonde who looked somewhat like Doris Day. In other words, she was unpretentious, had a wholesome quality attitude but was not stunningly beautiful like Joe’s wife. Yet, you wouldn’t toss her out…. At first Donna was a little uncomfortable because she wasn’t sure what her job responsibilities were. It seemed mostly to be to hang out in the office and go on errands with Joe as he went to meetings or to his operations facility several miles from the administrative office. Then one day I began to notice that the tone of Joe and Donna’s conversations took on a different level of interpretation. It was to the point that Joe seemed to be looking at Donna as a source of, ahem, affection.

Joe sensed that his wife suspected the same. The next time I saw her at their office, she was very quick with him and he seemed to just treat her like an employee who was getting on his nerves. Out of the blue he asked me to do him a favor which puzzled me a bit. He asked me to invite Donna to my tennis club for an evening of fun and games. I did but felt as if I was baby sitting her for an obvious reason.

Joe’s wife heard about this and understood the ruse that was going on to try to throw her off the scent. The next time I visited the office, she became very friendly to me, sitting down by my side and put her hand on my lap so that her husband Joe could see. I wouldn’t say that I enjoyed it and I wouldn’t say that I didn’t but I understood that I was being used and not because the tall dame had the hots for me.

Eventually, Joe and his wife got divorced and she got a very nice settlement but he didn’t care because he was a money machine and within a few months would make it back very quickly. Joe is now married to Donna and they have a boy, a mansion out in the suburbs, a barn filled with horses and other animals. I no longer service Joe’s business which is fine because I’m also out of the escort business.

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