Charles Dickens visited me in my dreams last night.
Dickens: “hey, kid, I have an idea for one of your blog posts.”
Me: “uh, aren’t you, like, dead?”
Dickens: “yeah so what?No one is going to believe that you really dreamed this anyway.”
Me: “okay, so wazzup?”
Dickens: “up here we know just as well what is going on down there by you. I saw that business about France and I thought you could write about it and compare it to what is going on in the colonies, excuse me, America. It is a good example of irony.”
Me: “uh, what happened in France?”
Dickens: “don’t you listen to that wireless thing called a radio, boy?”
Me: “uh, yes. But I don’t have it on all the time. So what happened?”
Dickens: “what the me, I mean- dickens! This very rich businessman from your country was invited to make an offer to buy a tire company in France. He went there, examined the operations and turned them down. Not only that, but he put in writing his disgust with the French way of working to one of their ministers.
You see, my boy- the French have a 35 hour work week whereas I believe that those of you in America who still have jobs work a 40 hour week. The thirty-five hours breaks down to 7 hours a day of which one is for lunch, three for goofing off and the other three for actually rolling up the sleeves and doing something useful.
This wealthy businessman was so put off by what he observed that he said the exact same thing to the union people at the factory he was considering to purchase. They laughed at him and said that ‘it is zee French way!’
He then said that he would consider buying an Indian or Chinese tire factory and get away with paying less than one Euro per hour, ship the product to France to sell to the local car owners and make a nice profit.”
Me: “is that the irony?”
Dickens: “no, you ninny. The colonists- pardon me again- you Americans can’t even get three hour a day work. That’s the irony. And you cry in your instant cream of wheat because whenever you do make the effort to apply for a job, you don’t get a response. I heard on the wireless receiver on my cloud that they did a survey and found that 75% of employment seekers get upset when they do not hear back.”
Me: “that’s not the way I think. I’m with the 25% who just shrug it off. I figure the guy in the personnel department probably doesn’t have the time to put in writing ‘no’ to 400 losers.”
Dickens: “exactly, my boy. By the way, I notice you getting a little agitated. Don’t wake up on me now. We have more to discuss.”
Me: I don’t think I can hold on. For some reason, all I can think about now is running water. It’s probably 4:00am. Okay, got to go to the washroom…”
Dickens: “bah, humbug.”
With that, off he went and so did I.