Aluminum Foil, Wallet, Cap, Mouthwash and Mouse

alum_wal_cap“Aluminum Foil, Wallet, Cap, Mouthwash and Mouse” is not one of those questions on a logic test that aims to see if you can spot a pattern. Instead, it is the list of items I’ve written down on a piece of paper to purchase the next time I go shopping. I’m at that point in life where my mind is too cluttered with so many thoughts and ideas that go in different directions.

If I had not put it to paper and taken it along with me on the journey, I probably would have remembered to purchase some of the items but not all. And I would have realized at the time that there was something I could not remember and felt frustrated about it. Sort of like the feeling you get when you pack your bags to go somewhere and you just know that there is something you are forgetting. It usually ends up being a belt, or tie, or the fancy watch instead of the every-day one.

Looking at the above list, it is pretty obvious that I am not going to find all those items at the same store. So, logistically I will go to a shopping center that is home to several places that should cover just about all of it. As for the mouse, no- I am not looking to bring vermin into the abode nor am I one of those research scientists who ran out of white mice to torture. I’m simply looking to purchase a replacement for the wireless mouse I bought about six months ago. You know, the one where the salesman warned me that I was buying a cheap one. I asked him why there was such a disparity in pricing for the various models. He smugly pointed out that “you pay what you get for”.

As for the wallet, I hate to get a new one because the leather has been broken in over the years so perfectly but that doggone snap on one of the compartments is about ready to fall off.

The last mouthwash I bought was one of those generic you never heard of labels and it tasted like it. As for the aluminum foil- c’mon, you can never have just enough.

Okay, I went to that big chain store that put everyone else out of business. I was hoping to buy a new cap and wallet there. No go. The wallets were cheap enough but did not have a snap for a compartment in which to keep several cards. As for the baseball cap, they were pretty much cheaply manufactured and did not sit correctly on my prominent head. And for the record, I once bought a wall clock there
that didn’t work regardless of what batteries were installed.

I don’t even want to go into the argument I had with the illegal alien in charge of the dressing rooms about the fact that there were no mirrors anywhere in the store. She told me to go to the Customer Service area and fill out a complaint. I wanted to yell at her that I worked for the Department of Immigration but then remembered that this store had the best price for Twizzlers anywhere in the Chicago area. So, I let her win that round.

A few days later I found a suitable cap albeit not my preferred choice at another shopping mall. The same store had wallets in another part of the Men’s section. But none had snaps. What is going on with this country? No snaps on wallets? Don’t the Chinese get it that Americans want snapped compartments in their money and identity holders? And what’s with those ‘Hecho in China” labels? Don’t the Asians know we speak English? Or do they study population trends better than we do?

As for the mouse, I bought one at that electronics store where the checkout person asks you if you want to purchase a warranty to go with the item just purchased. What- for a fifty dollar mouse?

Hey, I gotta go- I have to tell my bank that they sent the payment to my credit card company late and am now liable for a service fee as well as late fee. And we are the country all others wants to emulate.

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