Rock of Age

How many times have you walked past someone and nodded at them while at the time thinking, “boy, have they aged!” Of course, you tend to forget that they were thinking the same thing, right?

A few year ago I visited my sister and her neighbor from down the block was over at the time. The neighbor knew me from high school and her husband was in my graduating class. My sister said to me later that her neighbor thought that I looked the same as I had thirty plus years earlier. C’mon, give me a break! If anything, both she and her husband looked like they had never aged- but, me? Really? Uh- You think so? Wait- I’ll turn to the side so you can get a better profile.

The south wall in the living room of my condo apartment is entirely a mirror. That was what sold me on buying the unit. I like it especially because it tends to distort my size and shape when I stand a certain distance away. It takes about two to four inches off the waistline and adds at least an inch to my height.

When friends and relatives in my age group all turned fifty, we spoke the popular phrase, “fifty is the new forty!” Hmmm- what are we going to say when we hit 60? That it’s the new 50? That already sounds over the hill. Many of Ma’s previous generation relatives lived well into their late 80’s and 90’s. If I punch that into a computer-based formula, I think it means that there is a chance that my siblings and I can go on annoying each other well into our 100’s. I then guess we can safely surmise that 60 is truly the middle of the hump. And that means I should not plan on retirement until at least 75 or maybe 80.

Not that I ever take public transportation, but I’m still waiting for the day that a youngster- say someone between 35 to 45, gives up their seat to me or calls me ,”sir”. Yeah, sure.

It used to be that AARP considered one eligible to join once they hit 55. But, who wants to acknowledge that they are getting up there? I admit, though, that I steal a read of Modern Maturity when I go to visit Ma. I couldn’t believe it when I saw Robert Redford gracing the cover. It would be a hoot if they could convince Burt Reynolds to pose for a centerfold wearing only a Depends.

You are as old as you feel- and I will leave that line alone.

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