I sell and support accounting and business systems. Been doing it for more than 30 years – yikes! I never took a bookkeeping course and just one introduction to business course. Learning by osmosis ain’t just for cells, you know. But, now I find out that I am a CPA- and I don’t mean that I am an expert in cleaning, pressing and alterations.
At least that’s what the email I received yesterday indicated. It read:
TERMINATION of ACCOUNTANT STATUS DUE TO TAX REFUND FRAUD ACCUSATIONS.
Dear AICPA member, (ed. note. I have no idea what AICPA even stands for. I’m pretty sure it is not one of those super political PAC’s especially since I don’t donate any money to either of the party persuasions.)
We have received a complaint about your possible assistance in income tax return fraud on behalf of one of your employers. According to AICPA Bylaw Section 765 your Certified Public Accountant status can be withdrawn in case of the event of presenting of a misguided or fraudulent income tax return for your client or employer.
Please be informed of the complaint below and respond to it within 7 days. The failure to do so within this period will result in suspension of your CPA license.
Then in tiny print it reads:
Dear friends (uh, right?), I wasn’t born yesterday. (Being a baby boomer, I was born hundreds of yesterdays ago. )
At the very top of the email in small print was the following:
You’re receiving this notification as a Certified Public Accountant and a member of AICPA. Having trouble reading this email? View it in your browser.
When I hover the mouse over
and View it in a browser, it shows me the url link that will open in my Internet browser. Naturally, it is a garbage address and landing page. At the very bottom of the email, it reads: Email:
and if the mouse is hovered over it, it shows a third phony website.
In the past few months I’ve received emails from so-called ach clearing houses informing me that an electronic payment or receipt that I am involved with did not go through properly and that if I click on this special link, I can contact someone who can help me. Naturally, when I hover the mouse over it, it also is a garbage site.
I’m beginning to enjoy the attention. It is less aggravating than those automated calls telling me to press 1 so I can find out about the special discount for electricity delivery or to press 3 to stop receiving the calls. I guess when you press 3 it goes to the guy whose job it is to report back to his boss and say, “okay- we found another idiot who just validated his phone number and what time during the day he is home.”
I’m looking forward to graduating to higher honors of distinction. I can’t wait to get an email letting me know that I’m being kicked out of the American Bar Association as well as being disbarred in 20 states. I also wait impatiently to be defrocked as a doctor in good standing with the AMA, or be dis-invited from the next VFW annual dance for VietNam War Veterans.
If Dr. Seuss were alive today, he’d write a book about me called Spam I Am.